tormented, unhinged, and shattered

"I like it on cold, dark, damp autumn evenings-they must be damp-when all the passers-by have pale green, sickly faces, or better still when wet snow is falling straight down, when there's no wind-- you know what I mean? and the street lamps shine through it... Of late he had often felt drawn to wander about this district, when he felt depressed, that he might feel more so. Now he walked along, thinking of nothing... He was so weary after a whole month of concentrated wretchedness and gloomy excitement that he longed to rest, if only for a moment, in some other world, whatever it might be....And the more I drink the more I feel it. That's why I drink too. I try to find sympathy and feeling in drink.. I drink so that I might suffer twice as much... Do you understand what it means when you have absolutely nowhere to turn?..... But no sound came, all was dead and silent like the stones on which he walked, dead to him, to him alone... his pale and almost mournful face..... 'Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth', he added dreamily, not in the tone of the conversation.

She read loudly, cold and trembling with ecstacy, as though she were seeing it before her eyes... The candle-end was flickering out in the battered candlestick, dimly lighting up in the poverty-stricken room, the murderer and the harlot who had so strangely been reading together the eternal book... She looked at him and understood nothing. She only knew that he was terribly, infinitely unhappy... 'You have laid hands on yourself, you have destroyed a life.. your own"..... How sick, how sick I was then of going over it all! I have kept wanting to forget it and make a new beginning... I had to endure all the agony of that battle of ideas, Sonia, and I longed to throw it off...I murdered myself, not her! I crushed myself once for all, for ever.. Never had he felt himself so fearfully alone."