past convos/ trail of white blood betrays the reckless route your craft is running

jigsaw jazz and the get fresh flow i can't beleive you 9:45 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	Melissa Liddle	hardcore i was in such a zone saying i can't believe you!! in my head over and over when i was supposed to be taking a quiz. i can't believe you!! i miss truck driver neighbor downstairs. so much so, i plan on buying the cd tonight. i'm sick of waiting for an opportunity. i got the money. i miss it. buying. Posted by Melissa Liddle on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 at 2:08 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	marcelle	what i can't believe is that you lasted thus far without Posted by marcelle on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 at 5:57 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Melissa Liddle

haha. past convo. Posted by Melissa Liddle on Friday, December 08, 2006 at 1:50 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Sunday, December 25, 2005

what a good Christmas Christmas eve i was getting depressed about being so far from the Beall clan on Christmas. My favorite holiday, and my first one so far away. All those "i'll be home for Christmas" songs were making me sad, because I wouldn't be. But then today was really really great. Church x2, a "white" Christmas (san francisco style) jogging on the beach with the rolling surf and thick white fog:), Lynn, Jeremy, Abigail, Rachel, Ruth, and me for lunch at Ruth and my place (we pulled off a meal, i'm not saying it was great, but it was totally edible:), and not thinking about presents at all until 10pm during a gripping korean drama on iaTV. Then knowing i just have to get through 3 long (12hr) work days and then i go home for a week, and get to have Christmas all over again. Good books on my shelf and standing on a giant beached tire while the waves swept around me. The perfect blend of laughter, solitude, and love. Can it get any better?? So i'm feeling supremely blessed. Despite the mound, and i mean big mound, of dishes in the sink and the realization i'm going to get no more than 6 hrs of sleep tonight, i'm feeling incredibly blessed. Light has come to the world. Thank you God for this indescribable gift. Peace even when things aren't so rosey as today. And grace for the moment. always grace. 10:09 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	Cradizzle	I am glad you had a nice Christmas. I am sure your family will be overjoyed to see you. Have a good time. Posted by Cradizzle on Tuesday, December 27, 2005 at 9:54 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Melissa Liddle

i want to cry/llivelikethat Posted by Melissa Liddle on Friday, December 08, 2006 at 1:47 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Hope "the people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned." Matthew 4:16 8:57 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Melissa Liddle

so many realizations. so many to come. Posted by Melissa Liddle on Friday, December 08, 2006 at 1:47 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

"I am having this trippy God thing right now" "Yes. We would eat chocolates and smoke cigarettes and read the Bible, which is the only way to do it, if you ask me. Don , the Bible is so good with chocolate. I always thought the Bible was more of a salad thing, you know, but it isn't. It is a chocolate thing. We started reading though Matthew, and I thought it was all very interesting, you know. And I found Jesus very disturbing, very straightforward. He wasn't diplomatic, and yet I felt like if I met Him, He would really like me. Don, I can't explain how freeing that was, to realize that if I met Jesus, He would like me... There were people He loved and people He got really mad at, and I kept identifying with the people He loved, which was really good, because they were all the broken people, you know, the kind of people who are tired of life and want to be done with it, or they are desperate people, people who are outcasts or pagans.." Currently reading : Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality By Donald Miller Release date: By 17 July, 2003 1:10 AM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	Cradizzle	I have been wanting to read this book a while. I think the movement toward this thinking is good. I don't think people (in the church) actually think about Christ as a real person most of the time, thus they don't pay attention to what he actually did, they just pay attention to what is easy to remember. Posted by Cradizzle on Wednesday, November 30, 2005 at 1:02 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	marcelle	Yeah, Jeff, totally, He is REAL. Like REAL. not a fable, a story, what our family/church has passed onto us, but He is a real person who wants a very personal relationship with us. You should SO read that book. It has some elements southern Christianity may have a hard time swallowing, but I think it is SO right on. Loving people, being real. This guy is so brutally honest. Refreshing. Posted by marcelle on Wednesday, November 30, 2005 at 1:34 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Melissa Liddle

do we have that? body eaten by birds

Saturday, December 17, 2005

into the fog another low road descending the place where art meets science. this is the plane in which i live and love. 10:26 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	Melissa Liddle	j'accord Posted by Melissa Liddle on Monday, December 19, 2005 at 8:17 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Melissa Liddle

geese you're beautiful

Monday, January 09, 2006

futility, frustration, efficiency, patience. the value of humility. of trust. in who I am as loved by God. in who He is as faithful. in hope beyond what i see as feasible. eventhough i inevitably muck all i touch. church today. possibilities. Jesus. 1:31 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Melissa Liddle

brothers karamazov Posted by Melissa Liddle on Friday, December 08, 2006 at 1:45 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Saturday, March 11, 2006

oh dear life is a mess. is a miracle when things work right, when we do what's right. is so hard and tiresome and broken, if we're at all attuned to reality. so many suffer right here and far away. we live in an american bubble of prosperity while children in africa are brutalized and forced to murder; pretty sick. 5:38 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	Melissa Liddle	but you live in a jeep jeep bubble of prosterity and stolen designer bags Posted by Melissa Liddle on Monday, March 13, 2006 at 6:46 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Melissa Liddle	have yoiu read the stranger? it's great. but i'm reminded beccause of the bubble thing. it doesn't have anything to do with africa or the outside world, but condemnation for bubble worlds. it's moving. Posted by Melissa Liddle on Friday, December 08, 2006 at 1:44 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

sibs and parents in CA. really really really fun. My siblings in the future. Perry was REALLY excited about going on It's a small world oh, i don't have time for this. here they ALL are:) picshas 7:21 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Melissa Liddle

wow. such a diff world. i love us. i love the bealls. the kids. i can't wait to be united under the christmas roof. i just want to love you guys. i didn't before. i wanted to be something. i'm sooorrrryyy. Posted by Melissa Liddle on Friday, December 08, 2006 at 1:41 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Sunday, October 22, 2006

tonight i dropped a plasic bowl of fruit. i started by saying shhhhhhhh-- - then stopped. i ch uckled and said, that was kinda cool. actually beautifu l and artistic and joyful/jolly how the grapes and canteloupe triangles spring boing bounced into the air in all directions and rolled/splatted on the wood floor/ kitchen linoleum/ china cabinet doors. i liked it. though about work this morning. thinking at like 9am "I hate my life" and by the end like whatever. it's over. not exactly an exuberant work of art, but things yet to be thankful for. persevering rather than despairing is always fruitful. Fruitful. he he. Currently reading : Carry My Bones By J. Wes Yoder Release date: By 25 May, 2006 10:34 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	Cradizzle	I would have just said it, because I find cussing enjoyable (sometimes) but your right, randomness is beautiful. Posted by Cradizzle on Saturday, November 04, 2006 at 6:14 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Melissa Liddle	i love you.. i know. Posted by Melissa Liddle on Saturday, November 04, 2006 at 7:02 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Melissa Liddle

carry my bones, marcel. jesussssss. did that so you would see that. you are blessedly balance and he looooovvvves it. because i love it. that's how i know. you are minded not in yourself and life. you are a lot but it is in the way that you meet jesus in it. in a way you could never escape or should because it's how we are able to meet jesus. he set it up that way. actually lewis comes to mind. the beauty on earth is our link to eternal life. duh but i just realized it the other day for real. i came to it without knowing that's where i was going. i was just talking to mom about my future after i pulled a kid's arm out of socket. blahblah. i just wasn't afraid of the social aspect of mylife-in-the-future because it is a way i meet jesus. watching myself around people (still selfish in essence/in nature) is where i can be with God. any sense? it's not the people but what they give me and how i react to it. they are so much, but that's not where i meet jesus, it's how i am. when i watch myself in that way, that's where jesus is. in that personal world. blah. that's what you have. you have that self watching that jesus is in. we can never not be selfish and he uses it to meet us. huh?