The sun came out of nowhere like a bar fight. And it knocked out the wind and it bruised me with light/ Night trickles down our throats

it's so much easier to keep sinning when you feel wretched, hated by God
and easier to follow when you know He receives and walks with you.
believing in a God who LOVES and is EAGER to welcome is essential on many levels
and it is the God we've so YEARNED to believe in.
like the father who greets his prodigal son, before a word is uttered out of the son's mouth.
we never actually hear him ask for forgiveness;
the father doesn't seem to care!
he sees his son's face and RUNS to meet him and throw a party of celebration at his return.
RIDICULOUS grace and mercy are what He gives, who He is.

Talked to Dad about a God that's logical. A God that saves more than just the remnant, a God who came to seek and save the lost, to go out of His way for that last sheep or coin. A God who's not fair but gives generously to the undeserving. A God who is big enough to save Hitler. A Savior pure enough to overcome unbelief. Doesn't mean we understand His purposes/plan by any stretch of the truth...

Entropy being the truest law of nature, so accurate to human experience. This life sucks, though it's certainly laced with incredibly wonderful things. But one day, in some way, we will each die, regardless of how 'good' we are or aren't. How common it is in the church for us to be saved by grace but then obligated to works in order to prove we are saved! Catapulted from the freedom of salvation into the slavery of the works-treadmill. That we should excel so that we can glorify God and do good things or else we will be deemed actually condemned. As if anyone knows that! What an undue burden is having to maintain this appearance of sainthood! What would Paul think of that?? (By no means!!) All I know, is that if any of it is up to me, I'm screwed! No, Jesus's blood covers it all. And if an un-transformed life, or a life that still contains sin means that I am not saved, then how many sins does it take to show that I am not saved? What kind of sins prove that I never was? Who's to make that judgment call? At the end of the day, it's just me and God.

The JOY Dad has found in believing in a God who welcomes and delights in us. A God who has done and will do everything necessary for my salvation. There is nothing I have to do to prove it, and there is NOthing I can do to earn it. Not now, not in the past, not in the future. Running the works treadmill is more like trying to train the old man. Face it folks, we still live in this hugely corrupt human form. God deliver me from this body of sin!!! I think it's OK to admit that we are fallen and broken and in a constant state of repentance and receiving grace and mercy from Him! I find it utterly necessary! And am not so sure that God ever intended for us to reach people by being these impeccably moral and successful people so that they will look at us in awe and glorify God... If we're attaining this by our own hard work and efforts, then the world will see right through our posturing and praising. Being fake gets us nowhere! It's the people who are authentic, genuine, humble, and lowly that others can relate to. It's the folk singer who admits and describes how terrible he felt in addiction or how hopeless and unknowable is his future. The truth-tellers who don't judge others by their own moral standards and who can offer others forgiveness and welcome. Who can forgive themselves and stop with the self-hatred that so easily gets transferred onto others. Who have received RIDICULOUS grace from their Savior and live a free and generous life as a result.

The fact that Dad tears up multiple times per conversation and describes his new-found freedom with such overwhelming gratitude and he can scarcely get the words out. This is a soul rocked by grace. A soul that has space to ask God questions, protest His decisions, and ultimately rest in His perfect if unknowable plan.