**you'll wake to find you're a little unbroken***

i don't know about all the church-y christianity, but i think i'm pretty sure i do know about God. and that i want to be with someone who knows him in the personal, non-churchy way that i am beginning to. i know that he is more gentle and tender and weeping with me than i formerly realized. that he doesn't come at me with guilt and theology and holiness. he welcomes and accepts and weeps. he is swift with acceptance, forgiveness, love, and calm. peace. patience. kindness. goodness. gentleness. i've fled him and felt abandoned by him. i've feared him and resented him. and yet i've longed for him. i know that i do. and i want to believe. God help my unbelief and save me from the powers of darkness that have confused and consumed and confounded me. that have tripped and obscured and beaten me down. please rescue me now out of the darkness. i don't know why you have allowed it to enter in the first place, but i beg you to free and rescue me now.