How time can move both fast and slow amazes me

A downpour of sweat, damp cotton clouds
I was a fool, you were my friend
Each feature improved, each movement refined and eyes like a showroom
It's just once something dies you can't make it live
So I laid back down and wrapped myself up in the sheet
And I must have looked like a ghost cause something frightened me
And since then I've been so good at vanishing
Now I do as I please and I lie through my teeth
Someone might get hurt, but it won't be me
I should probably feel cheap but I just feel free
And a little bit empty


I'm staring out into that vacuum again
From the back porch of my mind
The only thing thats alive, I'm all there is

Cause there's this switch that gets hit
And it all stops making sense
And in the middle of drinks
Maybe the fifth or the sixth
I'm completely alone at a table of friends
I feel nothing for them
I feel nothing, nothing

Well I need a break from the city again
I think I'll ship myself back west

And I'm so ungrateful, I take
She gives and forgives and I keep forgetting it

And each morning she wakes
With a dream to describe
Something lovely that bloomed
In her beautiful mind
I say, "i'll trade you one
For two nightmares of mine
I have some where i die
I have some where we all die"

I'm thinking of quitting drinking again
I know I've said that a couple of times
And I'm always changing my mind
Well I guess I am
But there's this burn in my stomach
And there's this pain in my side
And when I kneel at the toilet
And the morning's clean light
Pours in through the window
Sometimes I pray I don't die
I'm a -- hypocrite



And so I raise my glass to symmetry
To the second hand and its accuracy
To the actual size of everything
The desert is the sand

You can't hold it in your hand
It won't bow to your demands
There's no difference you can make
There's no difference you can make
And if it seems like an accident
A collage of senselessness
You weren't looking hard enough
I wasn't looking hard enough

I want to learn such simple things
No politics, no history
So what I want and what I need
Can finally be the same
I just got myself to blame
Give everything up to fate
When there's choices I can make
When there's choices I can make
Now my heart needs a polygraph
I'm so eager to pack my bags
When I really wanna stay

The levity of longing that
Distills each dream inside my head
By morning watered down, forget
On silver stars I wish and wish and wish



Winter came to Omaha and left us looking like a bride
A million perfect snowflakes
And no two are alike
And so it's hard for me imagining the flaws in this design
I know debris, it covers everything
But still I am in love with this life


There is only now

But know there's no backing out
This is gonna be reality
You can never dream it down

And I know the cause
And I want to stop
But I can't do it
I just can't do it

But for memory and clarity
We had better write it down

I have no way of knowing
The truth with time dissolves

I put the past into the ground
I saw the future as a cloud
If there's still time to turn around
I'm going to

Its just one day I fell asleep
And now all day and night I dream
I am the first one I deceive
If I can make myself believe
The rest is easy