self-admonishment

sometimes feeling so despondent
so hopeless
so much like the future is a grey cloud
shrouded in mystery, uncertainty, and no promise of sun
no evidence for optimism

but GOD

and so I hope upon hope
and believe though i see no light
i wait expectantly for what He bestows

and remember

you keep pressing
you keep believing
you stay faithful
you obey and do what's right
even if you see no results
and trust that God will bring
a brighter tomorrow

that's what faith is
unseen things
are what i hope in

i cannot see the wind
but i feel it

i do not see God
but He is all I have

even when it's my prayers
"echoing through empty halls"
and my dreams dying,
stranded on the sandy shores of time
passing
slipping
fading

when the remnants of my regrets
pile around me
weighting me to the ocean floor
when i feel swallowed
by my own sin
when my heart
and my enemy
team up
to condemn and cry out against me
when i KNOW that I deserve
nothing
and can only fathom despair


I recall
and I trust
and I hope
against all hope.