a most arid and chilling idea

and more than once that impression which i can't describe except by saying that it's like the sound of a chuckle in the darkness. the sense that some shattering and disarming simplicity is the real answer .. the notions will all be knocked from under out feet. we shall see that there never was any problem


the power of seeing through its own enchantments and yet not being disenchanted


round and round. everything repeats. am i going in circles or dare i hope i am on a spiral? but if a spiral, am i going up or down it? how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty...

the tortures occur. if they are unnecessary, then there is no God or a bad one. If there is a good God, then these tortures are necessary. for not even moderately good Being could possibly inflict or permit them if they weren't.


one passes into tears and pathos. maudlin tears. i almost prefer the moments of agony. these are at least clean and honest. but the bath of self-pity, the wallow, the loathsome sticky-sweet pleasure of indulging it-- that disgusts me