"i just see blank faces" -mindy

JH's birthday today. many good convos.. continuation of last night. wishing these guys would "step up to the plate" in leadership, passion, direction.... the specific race/language qualifications sought by one guy friend that shed more light on our situation (lack thereof) and show me more acutely how our distance is ok.. lived utterly fueled and motivated by all the wrong things. compulsively driven to socialize by these useless desires. time to rest from these labors and redirect my lust/love. need to reflect, focus on my physical and spiritual health, focus on God. talked with the girls about trusting God. the struggle to be persistent in faith. patient in hope. the tassels of the tapestry only .

the picture's far too big to look at kid, your eyes won't open wide enough

the einstein quote about God not being haphazard with our lives.

and if it seems like an accident, a collage of senselessness you weren't looking hard enough, i wasn't looking hard enough.

and we'll keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve. our love's uneven remainders our lives are fractions of a whole and if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on the wall. then i think we'd see the beauty then and stand staring in awe.