and I've got nothing to say...

thoughts of decisions made, choices unconsciously taken.  the vacuous space left by constant work ending for the week...  realizing how i fill a neediness with attention and worldly loves rather than seeking God's fulfillment and purpose.  life spins faster than i can process and for some reason i refuse continually to slow down enough to do this.  i grab and grasp at fleeting things: worldly affection, physical beauty, human-love.   all is empty.  all is life-infused, but ultimately empty.  only He, only He is life and fullness.  sometimes i know not what is up/down here/there right/wrong in my life.  my decisions to live freely and not under guilt/compulsion sometimes give way to outright sin that i didn't realize how close i had slipped to that flame without being aware.  the state of my heart, quickly reflected in a few stupid steps.  i have so much to learn.