i used to be as blue as the sky

a pure soul he called me
i feel like i used to be pure as crystal, as clear as a cloudless sky.
my faith used to be simple, too.
somewhere along the way i lost my page.
"i been lost for a long time"
i stopped trusting God lately.
i told JH I cannot wait another 10 yrs (for a family)
she said don't say it or it's gonna happen, lol!!
I said, too bad, I'm being honest with God, I CAN'T!
discussed the other things that have complicated my relationship with Him.
Will. Dre. crying out to God and receiving only silence.
prayers echoing through empty halls.
felt like praying to a stone wall.
why did Will keep getting sicker?
how i was flailing against him and making the wound worse by doing so.
that we have to wait patiently and obediently.
weep bitterly.
forgive me God.
how did i get so lost?