quiet faithfulness

good talk with mom tonight about how crazy the past 6 weeks have been. how stressed i've been. how much trouble i've had trusting God and his timing. how hard it is to deal with the brokenness of this world, but even more, my own severe falleness. bad enough the fallen creation, how much worse my own guilt and failure. my sense of entitlement in manic-depressive succession with overwhelming sorrow and realization that i deserve nothing good that he gives. that i am UTTERLY unworthy of every single blessing. every damn thing. i've been so overwhelmed lately.
God forgive me.
I've been taken in, swallowed whole, by worldly desires.

"Teach me your ways that I may walk in your truth
Give me an undivided heart that I may fear your name"
Psalm 86:11

it's messy and mysterious, but
God is at work ALWAYS