you can try to live in darkness but you will never shake the light

so much, so tired.... saw Thuy Friday and little Atiena. deeply desiring then a baby of my own:) and the husband i need to have first ("so you're traditional like that?").... then that movie which made my friends not want to ever get married, but my thoughts were provoked and I remained optimistic (always). Saturday was flag football ("that was even better than the first time.... if that's even POSSIBLE!!!!"), and then Karaoke, dancing, Phillipino food, makeovers, friends, margaritas, and music at Irmas. Catching up with old lost friends:) discussing with one why me and C are not an item by now... our spiritual/faith differences standing as that roadblock from mutual affection developing into anything more. Serving (food prep) at church and lunch with some newcomers. It was a twist, though I sense a pattern of drifting that makes me sad. A clear realization which left me resolving regarding my feelings for certain amigos. Then contact later that left my resolve weakened though not obliterated. Jh, Jenny, and Anna here for dinner, with Caleb and a flashback to old times:) a good weekend overall. time to focus: be interntional, thoughtful, reflectional. time to learn from and talk to God.