so I am reminded of things I've forgotten. the way doors can open and people just walk in

so we've been selected in this beautiful lottery.
we struggled so long but it ended so easy.
it's starting to surface, all golden and godlike
this feeling we had every day and every night.
it bursts in an energy. a door it is opening.

but i try to get my head clear, it's too full of ideas that i haven't thought of yet.
and time, clocks keep waving their hands, doing all that they can to get our attention,
but the days fly away down a clean interstate and i'm staring drunk at a map.
so i let my hair down for the second time now, for the final time, now i had my fun.

I noticed how you waste no time making your way
across the room. You leave a wake of tongues
still waving after you. And it isn't no coincidence
where you finally choose to stand.
It's a sweet smile and then a denial. Hey, you
are just trying to be nice. But there is a meaning
to every fleeting action you unconsciously
decide. The clocks they chime.
I know you try and play it cool but there are
some thoughts you just can't hide. Only in your
closest friends do you confide. The way you say
you'll be seeing me, oh like it's so offhand.
You stare at me so boldly now. You have no lack
of confidence. It's just those lessons on sublety
you missed. I know you dream of saving me
like I'm some plane that you could land. But
when you fly you'll be leaving your man.

So when I sat behind the drum set.
Your heartbeat’s what I tried to play.
With kick and snares so careless not in time.
So you got ahead of me.
And I guess I’m still dragging behind.
I had a friend who changed his name
but couldn’t change himself.
Never quite figured out
how to do with what life had dealt.
He put a needle in his arm

to calm his handsome hell.

would have imagined it?
Could’ve worked out so well.
Now he's a shape that moves
like echoes through my empty room.
And there’s a voice that speaks
like someone’s right behind me.
I turned around and found
exactly what you would expect.
Clothes I left on my floor.
The papers piled on my desk.
But where the ink is
where the cause effect what’s meant by it
the story is incomplete.
The pictures’ left unfinished.
So I am writing my own ending.
I’ll let my pen bleed black or blue.
And I will color in the meaning.
It will be gold and green and true.
And I’ll learn to love my new discovered proof.
I’ll be grateful for this day.
I will be grateful for each day to come

I don't know what I am gonna do
There's a song stuck in my head
And I can't help singing it
Oh how I hope my singing pleases you
Cause this is not who I've become
But what you made me into

So imagine what you want
And then hold on to that thought
Cause that's as close as it will ever come

Each day there are hours I skip like a stone
I just crawl in a bag
I'm gonna live my life like somebody's shadow
I know I'm lazy with the little things,
I mean I never held a door

But I still loved you more than anyone since or before

I'll be anything...

the cord of a parachute...
the blanket on top of you...
The window you are looking through...
the cord of a parachute

All eyes on the calendar
Another year I claim of total indifference
To here, the days pile up
With decisions to be made, I'm sure all of them were wrong
Into this song I send myself
And with these drinks I plan to collapse
And forget this wasted year, these wasted years
Devoted friends, they disappear
And I'm sorry about the phone call and needing you
Some decisions you don't make
I guess it's just like breathing and not wanting to
There are some things you can't fake
I guess that it's typical
To cling to memories you'll never get back again
And to sort through old photographs
Of a summer long ago or a friend that you used to know

Maybe there's a woman somewhere,
Who's still thinking of me.
A girl with cold black hair,
Who's haunted in her dreams.
So will you look for me, in that strange bright place,
Cause how I ever got to you, I have no idea.
It's like some secret door, well it just appeared.
So, no matter what I do from now on with my time.
You will always stay here, in my mind.
I'm certain of this, and I'm not certain of anything.
So, I wanna get myself attached, to something bolted down.
So these winds of circumstance won't keep blowin' me arround.
From when I land, to when I leave:
There's not enough time, to sleep and sing.
I keep running around and all I want is to lay motionless