it cannot wait
much to do
need sleep more
need to write even more
mindy convo about knowing God, knowing yourself, knowing your partner. who am i and what do i want and what do i need? someone opposite to compliment, but am attracted more to people who are like me.
"yo soy un borracho......."
"i am troubles"
he drunk-dialed chacha and said something mean. he's hurt. he loves her.
"I own you, cunada!" he exclaimed and squeezed me in the coffee shop. out in the sun while JH went in with Weisen to get the crockpot we laughed and unlayered and blinked and bantered and embraced. pleasant tension. moments, always comedy, smart, discussing his future/skills/aptitude. told him he's too smart for "labor". JH's plan to make sure the Korean owners at his work know about me and her:) to make sure they treat him good we'll go hug up on him speaking Korean and i'll work my southern charm. If he trains me, anna, JH, they can pay group discount, but i said I'm not paying! Family discount is free, we all laughed. Told her he's my brother; don't know why/how it happened but I hella care about him. We look out for each other. we're tight these days.
went on a field trip this morning. picked up cunado and his scooter in the richmond, took to the mission, got JH's mattress in SOMA, took Erik to work in nob hill, dropped off JH's bed and her to work... he bought coffee and brunch. it was hella fun.
the way things just kinda fell together perfectly, the timing of everything, his resourceful exercise band/ jump rope truck ties, the good feeling of helping friends. knowing it was meant to be how well/smooth everything went. realizing the bed owner is the dinner party host tonight, lol. feeling of completeness that comes from knowing you are in God's will, the way things fall into place so supernaturally.
Sudan. not that things are falling into place there, but the way things, everything else in my life, are falling out of place, that is my indication of rightness.
deciding about applying to Mtz.
talking about l'bert and CKC and how long it takes guys to decide. how hard it is to know what we really truly need from a partner. mindy plays detective. vested interests in any info. so much mystery to life. i know God knows.
feel these days i have nothing to hold before God, no semblance of pride or self-righteousness to hold up. there is only the blood of Jesus to cover me. i have nothing to prove or present. i'm a selfish screw up. when i do succeed to follow/obey/do good in this world, i know it's of and from Him. by his empowering and giving. i believe it. every good and perfect gift comes from him, whether it be my ability to love/serve/care for my adorable elderly patients, do a favor for a friend, or speak kindly and purely about others. whether it be to withstand temptation successfully, take proper care of my body, or be intentional and persistent in my relationships with others. in all aspects, no good is from me but from Him. by His Spirit and His grace. So rather than agonize over my misdeeds or the mistakes of others, i try to "sing and rejoice fill your heart with something tangible and accept what you get with a smile" , that is learn from my errors, turn from my folly, and pursue righteousness and truth from hereon. help me God, I can do no other. Amen.
need sleep more
need to write even more
mindy convo about knowing God, knowing yourself, knowing your partner. who am i and what do i want and what do i need? someone opposite to compliment, but am attracted more to people who are like me.
"yo soy un borracho......."
"i am troubles"
he drunk-dialed chacha and said something mean. he's hurt. he loves her.
"I own you, cunada!" he exclaimed and squeezed me in the coffee shop. out in the sun while JH went in with Weisen to get the crockpot we laughed and unlayered and blinked and bantered and embraced. pleasant tension. moments, always comedy, smart, discussing his future/skills/aptitude. told him he's too smart for "labor". JH's plan to make sure the Korean owners at his work know about me and her:) to make sure they treat him good we'll go hug up on him speaking Korean and i'll work my southern charm. If he trains me, anna, JH, they can pay group discount, but i said I'm not paying! Family discount is free, we all laughed. Told her he's my brother; don't know why/how it happened but I hella care about him. We look out for each other. we're tight these days.
went on a field trip this morning. picked up cunado and his scooter in the richmond, took to the mission, got JH's mattress in SOMA, took Erik to work in nob hill, dropped off JH's bed and her to work... he bought coffee and brunch. it was hella fun.
the way things just kinda fell together perfectly, the timing of everything, his resourceful exercise band/ jump rope truck ties, the good feeling of helping friends. knowing it was meant to be how well/smooth everything went. realizing the bed owner is the dinner party host tonight, lol. feeling of completeness that comes from knowing you are in God's will, the way things fall into place so supernaturally.
Sudan. not that things are falling into place there, but the way things, everything else in my life, are falling out of place, that is my indication of rightness.
deciding about applying to Mtz.
talking about l'bert and CKC and how long it takes guys to decide. how hard it is to know what we really truly need from a partner. mindy plays detective. vested interests in any info. so much mystery to life. i know God knows.
feel these days i have nothing to hold before God, no semblance of pride or self-righteousness to hold up. there is only the blood of Jesus to cover me. i have nothing to prove or present. i'm a selfish screw up. when i do succeed to follow/obey/do good in this world, i know it's of and from Him. by his empowering and giving. i believe it. every good and perfect gift comes from him, whether it be my ability to love/serve/care for my adorable elderly patients, do a favor for a friend, or speak kindly and purely about others. whether it be to withstand temptation successfully, take proper care of my body, or be intentional and persistent in my relationships with others. in all aspects, no good is from me but from Him. by His Spirit and His grace. So rather than agonize over my misdeeds or the mistakes of others, i try to "sing and rejoice fill your heart with something tangible and accept what you get with a smile" , that is learn from my errors, turn from my folly, and pursue righteousness and truth from hereon. help me God, I can do no other. Amen.
posted by marcelle at
2:18 PM
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