and now my heart needs a polygraph

why can't it be clear and simple. i believe in being honest, but at what point does frank honesty become cynicism. what is realism? nothing's objective. i have to work to keep myself cheerful/optimistic, and i should do so, right? fake it till you make it? act on faith, let feelings follow? where's the tempering balance in this? from my physical training i've learned to push through great pain. applying this strength to emotional struggles. pushing through emotional pain. find myself able to focus, breathe, and stay strong in moments when i just want to cry. but is it a good thing to make a habit of??? at work, as a professional, i think this is appropriate to do. but what about elsewhere? and how this contrasts with my belief in honesty. this past month I've been questioning everything.