and so i pour myself the stiffest drink my stomach can stand and convince myself to lay back down again.

sometimes i need denial. i think it's my favorite coping mechanism, when used in moderation, and finitely. sometimes i just need it to keep my spirits up while i learn to cope with the heavy blows life deals. it's just a stopgap to help me keep functioning and keep rejoicing. it takes time to work out the stuff we experience in this world. you could let the weight of this world cement your feet to the ocean floor. the floods would overwhelm and sweep over my head sometimes, in my own life, the lives of those around me, in those of my patients, oh.. sometimes it feels like pure sunshine, sometimes the burdens weigh on my soul. sometimes i really just need a good night's sleep...