pomegranate is my new favorite fruit.

fruit fest '06

i love how the coastline is always changing

high tide, low tide, rocks, sand dollars shells, kelp, tires, birds, sunshine, thick fog, surfers, kites, gray-green with white surf, blue-purple tumbling waves, sometimes few and tall, sometimes long and thin, usually in many layers breaking and swirling at different points as they reach the shore. it's never the same beach twice, yet always the same vast ocean. the sun comes and goes as frequently and haphazardly as the ever shifting tide and the ever transient fog that is so charactaristic of ocean beach. i love it here. how will i ever live anywhere but on the ocean. i can't imagine going back. yet whenever i do, this may seem nothing more than a nice dream.

hello teenage leslie. ha ha

fabric store fabric store

irving shops and the coolest cheap socks. jamie and mom phone marathon. and sleepy sleepy sleepy.

melis wrote. i love how she writes.

oh mar. love isss the world and i wish i was with you guys like FIRE!! tell char that mom is fine with peggy duke and everything. and peggy duke feels sorry that i have to pay and not the parents. we're getting an estimate for the scratch on her car. so dumb mel oh me. well, i didn't know what to do with the curtains so you see what i did. i just sewed the tops then you can hang them and safety pin them where they need to be sewn together and if you want to mail them to me to finish that'd be fine. just shipping. well, letme know. i die for california with the sissers while i am in the faux-cold and grimy college logistics and acts and theatre and art assignments and wet carpet and iridescent lights. i love you mar. i do. live it up for me. i'll get there.

it suddenly strikes me

that God is so practical. he doesn't command stuff to be limiting, but because he freakin knows best. truning the other cheek seems so foolish and self disrespecting, but it's amazing how effective this is. how disarming to be apologized to and listened to and treated with humility and respect. it changes people, it really does. no one would belive me if i said it, but if they tired it, it's startlingly true. extraordinary kindness and humility changes people. Jesus. He did it best. While we are not He, we can have a fraction of His impact. why don't we listen?

so many crazy patients that i either

start crying, or totally stop caring all together. so insane by the time i get home that a whole thing of lasagna face down on the floor, and sitting cross legged on the ground eating christmas chocolate covered sunflowers scattered all over one by one.

yeahyeahyeah

Sun was hard. I only slept like 4 and a half hours sat night because we went to Lynn and Jeremy's and didn't want to leave. It was so so worth it, but i was such a grouch sun! Like just so tired. But yesterday was GREAT. I slept till 11, talked on the phone for an hour, then like cleaned the house all afternoon, like a really good wet, serious clean. then, oh, then i ran on the beach for over an hour, like between 4:30 and 6, at sunset on the ocean. I explored this part of the beach i've never been to before. tide was really low, so where usually there are these rocks covered in water, there were just smooth colorful big rocks. and i walked/climbed over them unitl there was another sandy beach beyond. it was deserted enough to be cool but not deserted enough to be scary, and there was like an old washed up GIANT tire, and old concrete pieces of something big and huge rusted metal pipes and these massive orange cliffs rose above me to the left and the ocean with a pink sunset to the right and it was incredible. I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and NEVER got cold AND never broke a sweat. utterly utterly perfect running weather. perfect. it was so so incredible.

today

minus my blissful long run on the beach. big tire and concrete and rusted pipes past the smooth rocks against the orange cliff the deserted patch 0f beach where i waited for the tide to rise and sweep me away, sliding on green mildewed rocks and running for over an hour. red shirt, crazy girl, discovering new places.

to do list

live in the mountains
grow tons of vegetables
fall in love
go to hawaii
sew more (finish curtains, pj pants, scrubs, skirts, bags)
cook more
explore always
exercise more
read the bible more
surf
see an erupting volcano
travel to every continent at least once
live overseas

deeedle deedle dum tune up

how quickly jaded

hardened by stress and angry futility and such frustration