Made alive with laughter: 2006-06-18

dreams dreams dreams the stuff

i can't put it into words, not even the vivid images i see. but twas in the same dimension as the boyfriend/bike/old dirty bathroom/house family festival dream. day after night shift me and a friend some store summer shop see laura from work there (&lora'sasleep..). down a slope blade/biking towards it, green picket fence, white square big house and beautiful place/weather. i don't know where when but it had finland bliss with an old clean flavor and dream pure bright colors. only a sense of alone happy prettyness around me. happy outside. me in a big sweatshirt saw my reflection of unbrushed hair and circles under eyes no glasses. laura complimented my sweatshirt, gray with red writing and i'm all so tired. nice

with a most magical and tragic sense that everything is changing

i close my eyes as i walk the sidewalk at dusk
listen to the sound of electric wires and circuits buzzing
and the faint plop of fog so thick that it falls out of the sky in big flat drops
and all is saturated with water and electricity
i see and hear the fat drops, i watch and listen to the sparks fly
it's magic
it's alive
it's as muffled and electric as is possible.
both sad and alone and buried
while sparkling dynamic beautiful poignant

in stark contrast to the stifling hot frustrating day on the floor. sweat. yelling. listening. patience dwindling. patients dwindling in health. death beckons life awakens diamonds weddings travel and change. and tears at the end of it all don't know if happy or sad but most certainly both. the tragic wonderful changes that are, here.

talking myself into moving from the beach

1. change is good. promotes growth and upward progress. i despise being stagnant.
2. potential for a really good workout if i will actually get up the gumption to bike to the beach and back for my usual workout. Which is certainly not impossible. I could get in really good shape.
3. things are going to change, marcelle, they already are, they already have. three wednesdays ago the world turned on it's axis and life will not be the same. so why hang onto the past.
4. Too sad to have someone replace ruth here.
5. living with a fun friend instead of a random person.
6. closer to the social scene, to where the action is (not sure if thats a pro or a con:) )
7. less work commute time (ditto)
8. landlord issues. if i stay, could be totally fine; or could be full of more problems.
9. this isn't the first time i considered moving closer in to the happenings

in hues of gray and shades of blue

always comes to town wearin brown and leaves my world turned upside down

mel and her life

marcelle

sad. life can be so whimsical, shrivelly, and memoryish. had a disturbing dream about you and lydia. can't remember details only shameful sad innocence defiled feeling. ew. why do i have the worst dreams. well you + tigger = alice. i don't know why; just is.

Posted by marcelle on Thursday, May 18, 2006 at 8:45 PM
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Melissa Liddel