and we're like 12

cha:he looks like somebody i know...

me: he looks like the cradle i'm bout to rob

mulato

albino

mosquito

my libido

learning the lyrics to so many songs at karaoke

by mosquito i was on the floooooorrrrr

erik's move emulating the video cartoon dance

musical encouragement

sailing with the wind behind
watching as the rising tide
swallows the tracks of a thousand regrets that you try to hide

and it's never too late to start again
no it's never too late for a heart to mend

and there's little dose of hope when the sky is silent
little bit of life you cannot see
little bit peace when the sky is falling
little bit of shelter you find in me

well i know that it don't always seem to go as you planned
but a little dose of hope is the place i know to begin

from Centrevol -Dose of Hope

don't wake up I'm here to keep you from the storm. I'll soak up your fear and keep your body warm. I keep missing you.

what a tangled web is this life
how grateful i am for incredible friends to wrap around me
as a blessed, heaven-sent support net
how i long for that safety

they cushion and protect me from the darkness outside
and shelter me from life's storms
they are the hands and feet of God in my life
just as Jenny affirmed at her birthday dinner

thank you God that I was able to have the night off to enjoy them
it was FUN, intimate, and uplifting in all respects

thinking about timing. how people walk in and walk out of your life.
how fickle and fragile is everything in this life
how perfect timing is ever a gift and much of life feels like
matches and opportunities missed by seconds

talking to Kristen about people who do unfathomable things
and the extreme desperation they must be operating from


From The Living Bible

Psalm 3:2-3
"So many say that God will never help me. But Lord, you are my shield, my glory, and my only hope. You alone can lift my head, now bowed in shame."

Psalm 5:8
"Lord, lead me as you promised me you would; otherwise my enemies will conquer me. Tell me clearly what to do, which way to turn."

Psalm 6:6
"I am worn our with pain; every night my pillow is wet with tears."

a series of too little too late these days

i was feeling encouraged by my coworkers' responses
sad hugs, high fives, and suggestions
i was feeling free, confident, happy
but now i feel blah. news from the other unit. who knows. perhaps i'm supposed to really change gears.

God lead me


i feel like i'm going to sleep well, but i don't know:
i'm clean
i'm exercised
i'm fed
i'm socialized and
i'm tired

as for leaving my job

i tried, i really tried (to make it work)
i feel sad cause it's truly ridiculous that 3 shifts is all that stood in my way
but i had no choice. it was in or out, and management refused to flex or work with me.
so it's out.

been a good, low-key, relaxing weekend...

CG game night friday, ultimate frisbee and brunch with smaller groups, dinner at anna's, kite-flying, wiffle-ball playing, and wave hopping with jenny, christine, mindy, and burgers with jh, jenny, and anna. really what i needed this weekend. good, clean fun

i have no way of knowing, the truth with time dissolves

i keep going over my decision in my head
the fear makes me question
the uncertainty makes me wonder
if i did the right thing....
sleep deprivation hindering my thinking even now

Mark 14:22-26
Burning for that day when we will feast with no more sorrow or sickness or sin

Early the week of passover, Jesus judges the temple
judged it as CORRUPT
"there's money lenders inside the temple, this crystal city's gonna fall apart
when all their power turns into vapor, if I miss you then that's my fault..
Hello, patterns in my mind now moving slow,
sorrow all across the surface row..... alone.."

God I throw myself at your feet and beg for your mercy, forgiveness, deliverance
help me please
my spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak

now all day all night i dream

have had strange lingering dreams of late from which my alarm has wakened me

the other night it was Gu Jun Pyo getting all ninja on me and JH's a**es in an indoor swimming pool. for some reason he was the bad guy. Ray said, "you mean you and JH fighting over him? " LOL. Lee Min Ho FTW.

last night it was a stone building with a spiral stairwell, and it was my work. Brenda and Jose were there. it was old and there was an outdoor deck up off the bell tower with patient beds and inside small cold rooms. really rustic, stone. singing karaoke in the bell tower with Jose, and some guy with tattoos all down his back. it was a familiar twilight existence with riding in a car down deserted streets and parking lots..

I'm trying to follow (You)

so why do i feel so uneasy???

it's the day to day dilemnas, what do I do now?