"at least he knows how to hug a girl.... unlike some guys!!!"

said anna, somewhere on valencia between 16th and 22nd street. and we FELL out. one look is all it takes. i knew immediately what she was referring to, and with one glance she knew that i knew. that's when we lost it:D

up til 4:39 sketching all night. i should REALLLY be asleep. work sunday is going to majorly suck. my body's still confused.

and do these dreams have any meaning?? no no i think it's more like a ghost that's been following

there's this dream in my brain that just won't go away, it's been stuck there since it came a few nights ago


can't shake off the feeling of

can't admit it to myself, can't deny it either:)

something vague that we're not seeing, something more like a feeling

i can't admit it to myselff but i can't deny it either

"I don't even know what that means!" exclaimed Sharnae, when i made her repeat it so i could write it down on the square wrapper of an alcohol swab. I told her it was a good one to ponder on. She spoke about her new boyfriend and said "you're invited if there's a wedding soon". So it's like that? Her psychologist friend's love triangle of committment, physical attraction, and personality/ communication. Over a peasant pie. Cool kid man.

the heart has it's reasons which reason knows not, after all.

feeling weak

and really tired. uncertain and transparent. of things i thought were settled, resolved, sqared away, yet once again haunting. sigh. stuck in the in between. the longing. i'm physically tired. and mentally/emotionally. need things to go solidly in one direction or another. the wavering and the ignoring/distance wearies me. it's delicate and sharp. piercing and dull/heavy at the same time. momentary feeling revealed. unsure how to proceed. sleep certainly's in order.

One hand on this wily comet, Take a drink just to give me some weight, Some uber-man I'd make, I'm barely a vapor ...Close your eyes to corral a virtue, Is this fooling anyone else? Never worked so long and hard, To cement a failure, We can blow on our thumbs and posture, But the lonely are such delicate things, The wind from a wasp could blow them, Into the sea, With stones on their feet, Lost to the light and the loving we need, ...With burnt sage and a forest of bygones, I click my heels, Get the devils in line, ..A tool we devise, To make sinking stones fly, And still to come, The worst part and you know it, There is a numbness, In your heart and it's growing.
(the shins a comet appears)