so you should never be embarrassed by your trouble with living

cause it's the ones with the sorest throats who have done the most singing



life teaches lessons only learned the painful way sometimes.

and I have learned to listen to myself despite the clamor and demands of others.
to be as gentle and forgiving of myself as I am prone to be with others

from Brother's K, Father Zossima:

Above all, avoid falsehood, every kind of falsehood, especially falseness to yourself. Watch over your own deceitfulness and look into it every hour, every minute. Avoid being scornful, both to others and to yourself. What seems to you bad within you will grow purer from the very fact of your observing it in yourself. Avoid fear, too, though fear is only the consequence of every sort of falsehood. Never be frightened at your own faint-heartedness in attaining love. Don’t be frightened overmuch even at your evil actions. I am sorry I can say nothing more consoling to you, for love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams. Love in dreams is greedy for immediate action, rapidly performed and in the sight of all. Men will even give their lives if only the ordeal does not last long but is soon over, with all looking on and applauding as though on the stage. But active love is labour and fortitude, and for some people too, perhaps, a complete science. But I predict that just when you see with horror that in spite of all your efforts you are getting farther from your goal instead of nearer to it-at that very moment I predict that you will reach it and behold clearly the miraculous power of the Lord who has been all the time loving and mysteriously guiding you.

bought a mantra to concentrate, car alarm or hissing snake

Psalm 130

A song of ascents.
1 Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD;
2 Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

3 If you, LORD, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?
4 But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

5 I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
6 I wait for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

7 Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.
8 He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

lift the veil

The picture is far too big to look at kid. Your eyes won't open wide enough
and you're constantly surrounded by that swirling stream of what is and what was.
Well, we've all made our predictions but the truth still isn't out.
But if you wanna see the future, go stare into a cloud.
And keep trying to find your way out of that maze of memories.
It all sort of looks familiar, until you get up close and it's different. clearly.
But each time you turn a corner, you're, you're right back where you were
and your only hope is that forgetting might make a door appear.
Well is it your fear of being buried that makes you so afraid to speak?
An avalanche of opinions like the one that feel that I am now underneath.
It was my voice that moved the first rock and I would do it all again.
So, I mean, it's cool if you keep quiet, but I like singing.
So I'll be holding my note and stomping and strumming and feeling so very lucky.
There is nothing I know except this lifetime's one moment
and wishing will just leave me empty.
So you can try and live in darkness but you will never shake the light.
It will greet you every morning
and it will make you more aware with its absence at night,
when you're wrapped up in your blankets baby, that comfortable cocoon.
But I have seen the day of your awakening boy and it's coming soon.
So go ahead and loose yourself in liquor and you can praise the clouded mind
but it isn't what you're thinking no, it's the course of history, your position in line.
You're just a piece of the puzzle so I think you'd better find your place.
And don't go blaming your knowledge on some fruit you ate.
Cause there's been a great deal of discussion, yes, about the properties of man.
Animal or angel? You were carved from bone, but your heart it's just sand.
And the wind is going to scatter it and cover everything with love.
So if it makes you happy, then keep kneeling Mama, but I am standing up.
Because this veil, it has been lifted. Yes, my eyes are wet with clarity.
I've been a witness of such wonders. Oh, I've searched for them all across this country
but I think I'll be returning now to the town where I was born.
And I understand you must keep moving friend, but I am heading home.
Yeah I'm gonna follow the road and let the scenery sweeping by easily enter my body.
And I'll send you all this message in code, under ground, over mountains,
through forests, deserts and cities.
All across the electric wire, it's a baited line. The hook is in deep boys,
there is no more time. So you can struggle in the water and be too stubborn to die,
or you could just let go and be lifted to the sky.