it's moments like these

when i need to be wrapped up in a great big hug and kissed on the face

life

is a mess. is a miracle when things work right, when we do what's right. is so hard and tiresome and broken, if we're at all attuned to reality.

48 avenues, or 3 miles

i walked home from work today. it was great. so, yeah i think i have nerve damage in my feet from power walking in clogs, but it was SO worth it. so fun and now i'm so pleasantly tired and ready to sleep. the clouds were gray purple foggy fluffs and the sky was a clear clear indigo with silver stars absolutely glimmering. i was so ready to get out of work, and the cold air that froze my bananas was perfect for walking so briskly. i explored my hood. sunset all the way, all 48 blocks of it. i stayed on irving the whole time. how cool is that. despite landlord issues, i LOVE where i live. the purple blue green lighted basement apartment with music coming out, the high dude rocking out to the mercedes convertible ACDC and the rich dude laughing, laundromats, homeless dudes shoplifting, irving shops deserted, quiet streets still glistening with rain no longer falling and the solace of silence.

o my malitia

oh mar, i'm freaking obsessed with you lately. you are my mind'shope of late. you in that san fran. it shouldn't be this way, but as things get tighter and pile up, mom get's more intense and hovering and uugggggghhhhh. it's not supposed to work that way. when i have pressure, i don't need outside pressure, you know. oh i know you do, and that's why you're my m.h. you in that sanfran. i want to cry.

all my lies are always wishes i know i would die if i could come back new

i shake like a toothache