i once cried from college while in nursing school depressed and overwhelmed and discouraged beyond what i like to remember (wonderful friends being the ONLY thing that got me through). feeling once again tinges of this despondency regarding my job, mom told me to think about it as school with a light at the end of the tunnel: 11 more months that would round out my self-imposed and truly good goal of 2 years at this job. great people once more making it bearable, and a cool city to live in which i would cry at leaving. and as such i remember how transcendence is what i need for survival. that moment of green bile sinking and swirling in the toilet, the first time i transfused life-giving blood, sunrise (or set) over san francisco from the north side of the floor or solarium, and the almost uncontrollable impulse to burst into song when a patient complains of feeling nauseated and shake it across the hospital room: " nausea, oh nausea and we're gone" I have to somehow take the intensity of it all down a notch before i LOSE it. and i'm trying to keep a good attitude.
