ooh dreams trickling back

of a stolen champagne bottle
some high rise apartment
uncle hank and relatives there
with melix and hung towels in a tree, realizing soon we couldn't get them down
the cadillac was white
some covert closet with a baby outside
covering the keyhole?
what else...

Zephaniah 3:17 (New International Version)

¹⁷ The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

from monday's summer conversation with chuck degroat

He delights in you
you're not a failure in His eyes (yes even in your wretchedness)

Blessed are you when you come to the end of yourself (poor in spirit)

Blessed are those who bring all the inward junk (secrets) to the outside (mourning)
-in church there's no room for failure or dips. failure causes us to feel SHAME. there's no space at all for sin

The way of the cross is downward mobility (meekness)- blessed are you when you don't have it all together

We are sojourners and aliens here. addiction is self-satisfying/pleasing and we have multiple addictions. We don't need to self-satiate but hunger and thirst for righteousness.

Blessed are those who get into the mess of others. Who by default wants to do that? Having your stomach turned, your innards moved on behalf of someone else is inconvenient!

We live divided, compartmentalized lives- the part people see and want and then the other parts we don't divulge. Don't want to feel exposed. Being pure in heart is to have an undivided heart. Not presenting this false self.. Blessed are you when living from your core.

Blessed are those hungry for shalom, called to bring people together.

Blessed to be persecuted for His cause.

I try to be an honest and transparent person. I fail at this too, wanting to make myself look good.

We want connection and to feel valued and loved, even if the places we seek it cause us to feel terrible afterward.

Sometimes God in His wisdom runs you into a huge brick wall to slow your momentum and teach you what He values.

He defines blessing differently

Failure being a PART of the spiritual growth (rather than a major setback?)

What if the suffering is a sign of faith, not a lack thereof.

We are desperately needy of a Saviour.

So be of good cheer and take heart, O my soul (see John 16:33)!! God will use my failure for my growth in Him, He delights in me, and (thanks to Jesus) doesn't view me as a horrible failure.


Here's an insightful article that's somewhat related:
http://www.slate.com/id/2224932/

(credit on finding this article ascribed to L'bert)

Coffee Prince's description of being "shaken"

it's like a momentary doubt
a period where you seriously have your love tested
when you waver
when you are uncertain what's what

but it's only temporary
not lasting
the original love is your forever love

my faith has been shaken
i myself have been shaken
but already i find myself coming back
to my first love, my true love
The Lord

believing that he accepts me with open arms
this is more difficult
that he has forgiven me already
that he could "trust" me
that that which shook and allured me
is not my true deep desire

he knows my heart already
which is better and worse
he knows i am still tempted
by other loves (worse)
but he knows that I
ultimately cling to him (whew)

Is lasting hope possible?? City Church with Fred Harrell

Is there anything you're saying "NO" to simply because you are a Christian??

Hope is the heart reaching for a cure
Unless God begins to save us, we have no hope
IS your hope robust enough to handle this life?
What do you do when your struggles are deep and profound,
despairing, deep suffering?
The ultimate foundation of your hope must withstand this suffering/difficulty
Profound, resilient hope

She wasn't perfect
She was a mess like all of us
But she was never hopeless

The thing you MUST have of else you die is HOPE
(even self-destruct in the giving up)
When it's all taken away, your line of O2 is resilient, transcendent hope!

I will act on it and seek to make it take place
stabilizes and enables you

Lasting hope that is radical-- war itself eliminated see Isaiah 2:1-5

The only hope we have is if God agrees to save us
He WILL intervene-- the day is coming

Realized partially yet substantially. Jesus will draw all to himself. it's happening in the here and now as people come to know the Lord

Must be embodied- you must take it up and live it now b/c you believe in this happening.
We walk in light of an entirely new future and vision
"I form the intention"
Your SETTLED INTENT (not your perfect practice)
He's looking for followers

And like GPS when we do screw up and go our own way, he says
"recalculating route... make a U-turn"
(not "you idiot, you didn't listen to me, you big moron!")
That is GRACE

o my goodness, such dreams

a teacher's lounge where i found Lydia wearing my swimsuit, Lashante in hers, and my mom there with Rhonda and Andrea telling me she's pregnant and the details of how it happened.. and i'm all maybe it's just menopause! cause she's all uncertain and i'm thinking she should know her body by now after having 5 of us whether or not she is!! it was some kind of camp thing and there were kids and cake and i felt like crying due to the family situation of one of these boys. there was a partially english speaking latino boy who passed a note to me about his crush on me and i kind of liked him too. something about church and church friends and waiting outside of a crack house. then this lady came and attacked me to rush me off the lot. i gathered my stuff and scampered....