lavendar honey and orange cardamon

everything Mel said in the Caddy at West Meade Liquor... Beck tells my soul...

THINK I’M STRANDED BUT I DON’T KNOW WHERE I GOT THIS DIAMOND THAT DON’T
KNOW HOW TO SHINE IN THE SUN WHERE THESE DARK WINDS WAIL AND THESE CHILDREN
LEAVE THEIR RULERS BEHIND AS WE CROSS TEN LEAGUES FROM A RUBICON WITH MATCHSTICKS
FOR MY BONES IF WE COULD LEARN HOW TO FREEZE OURSELVES ALIVE WE COULD
LEARN TO LEAVE THESE BURDENS TO BURN CAST OUT THESE CREATURES OF WOE WHO SHATTER
THEMSELVES FIGHTING A FIRE WITH YOUR BARE HANDS NOW MY JOURNEY TAKES ME FURTHER
SOUTH I WANT TO HEAR WHAT THE BLIND MEN SING WITH THEIR FOSSILS AND THEIR
GYPSY BONES I’LL STAND BESIDE MYSELF SO I’M NOT ALONE AND HOW CAN I MAKE NEW AGAIN
WHAT RUSTS EVERY TIME IT RAINS AND THE RAIN IT COMES AND FLOODS OUR LUNGS WE’RE
JUST ORPHANS IN A TIDAL WAVE’S WAKE IF I WAKE UP AND SEE MY MAKER COMING WITH ALL
OF HIS CRIMSON AND HIS IRON DESIRE WE’LL DRAG THE STREETS WITH THE BAGGAGE OF LONGING
TO BE LOVED OR DESTROYED FROM A VOID TO A GRAIN OF SAND IN YOUR HAND

/ BECK:

IF WE COULD LEARN HOW TO FREEZE OURSELVES ALIVE WE COULD LEARN TO LEAVE THESE BURDENS TO BURN

i have this sense of returning. cycles, repetition, coming back to what i thought i left behind. old sorrows, old burdens, old desires. things i thought were overcome but now creeping their way back into my consciousness. Still beating around the old issue of God's sovereignty and Will's demise; Ruth's pain and loneliness, God's plan and His unknown reason, my wrestling with God and inability to understand his purposes....

a sight for sore eyes

a little disappointed, a little lonely, a little bit of reality. i don't know, a raw, tenderness?
nothing bad, it's all good really. kinda fresh, definitely real. solid and light all at the same time.

i'm only alive with you; i can't get by and i won't get through. so put me in the river, let me say i do. i 'm only alive with you.