this little world's too fragile now

i'm not angry anymore (not right now)

not at Dre, and not at God. deeply sad, yes. more than anything, deeply sorrowed for the pain and suffering Dre must have been experiencing, to the point that he couldn't even let us in to help him bear those burdens. what unfathomable turmoil and sadness he must have felt! It breaks my heart that someone so talented and compassionate and loved could see no other option for his life. It makes me cry to think of all the things we'll never do together, all the family moments he'll be missing from, all the people he was sure to bless and touch. It feels utterly wrong, unnatural, like a physical tearing away of a part of oneself. But I'm not mad at him. My heart breaks and feels deepest empathy for him. I'm not mad right now at God either. For the first time since Will was diagnosed, I feel God's presence. His comfort. Thanks to a body of believers who have surrounded me with love, support, advice, encouragement, tears, and listening ears, I see His form in a tangible way. And how each has ministered to me differently at different moments. Jung Hee fleshing it out here at home, Ruth cousin expressing her deepest sympathy and continued questions regarding Will, Anna tearing up and saying that God does promise protection therefore my feelings of abandonment are valid, Jack's truthful advice, Anni's heart and encouraging words, Deanna, Christi, Christine, Alyson's listening ears and faces full of compassion, Leon's sharing of his similar sad experience....... E-mails of condolences and prayers... the list goes on. I am surrounded by people who care, and I am truly blessed. Lord be with Char, Missy, Dre's family. Be present in their lives and let me be Your presence in their lives.

Brother, what can you do? Sleep with the stars, and toil in the sun El Cielo es azul, Just don't go telling anyone.

The past don't ever quit. There's boxes in the attic. Baby shoes and taxidermy dream. While the ashes of the dead, like a dandelion head, explode and then are scattered by the breeze. We're such a long way back to all the fun that we had. When nothing ever seemed to bother me.

Yeah, I hope the world's exposed. A cruel and elaborate hoax. It convinces me to walk without a cane. But what can you do? Child, what can you do?I always heard that what is done is done. El Cielo es azul,Just don't go telling anyone. Eagle on a Pole Conor Oberst

even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless

Eccl 3:2-9, 10-11,20

there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,

I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return

While the mountain’s side was shining wild colors of my destiny

Make me blue forever like an island sky

Let me down slow Help me go slow; I've been carrying on. I'm not scared of nothing I'll go pound for pound I keep death on my mind like a heavy crown....You bring peace to midnight Like a spotted owl .....All the sights and sounds This little world's too crowded now And there's only one way out An elevator ride Through the tunnel towards the light And I'm nowhere bound. Keep going up and down; up and down. Newspaper, Newspaper Can't take no more. You're here every morning Waiting at my door I'm just trying to kiss you And you stab my eyes Make me blue forever Like and island sky And I'm not pretending That It's all okay Just let me have my coffee Before you take away the day. ..Why all the tears? ... All the light and sound This little world's too fragile now And there's only one way out ...Let me down slow. Just help me go slow. I've been hurrying on I was poised for greatness I was down and out I keep death at my heels Like a basset hound ...

Milk Thistle Conor Oberst

Sorrow all across the surface roads

A short delay, the pair of blues
Little voices mimic you
It's not so hard to make that sound
So watch your back, the Ides of March
Cut your hair like Joan of Arc
Disguise your will, they'll find you out
And when they do
Look out

There's money lenders inside the temple
That circus tiger's gonna break your heart
Something so wild turned into paper
If I loved you, well that's my fault

A bitch in heat, the alpha male
Not something she'd ever tell
Except when she got deathly high
And out it came like summer rain
It washed the cars and everything
Felt clean for just a little while
A telethon
We drunk dialed

Those starving children, they ain't got no mother
There's pink flamingos living in the mall
I'd give a fortune to your infomercial
If somebody would just take my call
Take my call, Take my call

Hello
Patterns in my mind now moving slow
Sorrow all across the surface roads
Smoothing out the edges of the stone
The lights are out, where'd everybody go
Alone

Erase yourself and you'll be free
Mandela destroyed by the sea
All we are is colored sand
So pay to ride the ferris wheel

Smile, all that you can feel
Is gratitude for what has been
'Cause it did not
Happen

There's money lenders inside the temple
That circus tiger's gonna break my heart
Something so wild turned into paper
If you love me, then that's your fault

There's money lenders inside the temple
This crystal city's gonna fall apart
When all their power turns into vapor
If I miss you, well that's my fault

Lenders in the Temple -- Conor Oberst